Prepare yourself. This could be a long one.... :)

I had a little bit of a nutty Easter. Much to the dismay of my husband, I hosted Easter. He was worried that I would over do it or something.... me??? Never!! Well, after I was sent to bed after having 2 minute apart contractions for over 24 hours, and telling him through my pride that yes he was right. So I prepared myself for the doctor the following day. This is where the real fun begins.

My neighbor usually picks up my boys after school but this day she couldn't. Of course my appointment was at 2:45 the same time they would get out. My mother-in-law was very graciously watching them already so I just had to find someone to help with my boys. All of my back-ups were not answering the phone so I left a few messages. I really needed a quick shower so with the kids in the backyard I took a chance on a fast 2 minute shower. I took the phone with me just in case someone would call in that SMALL window of time to see if they could help with the boys. I should have realized I was setting myself up for disaster...

Here's how it plays out...

I was 1/2 way done rinsing off when the phone rings. I turned off the water to answer it and had just started the conversation when I realize I hear another female's voice in my house. With visions of Hyrum escaping to the front yard, playing in the street and a neighbor bringing him home I asked the person on the phone to hang on while I said a tentative hello, dripping soapy wet at the top of the stairs. Emily had opened the door to a friend that was dropping off a present. I asked her to hold on while I finished the phone call, which ended up not working out anyway, and tried to quickly find a robe.

I came downstairs to find my dear friend who has 5 children of her own, giggling at the situation. As I was trying to explain, at the door, a neighbor that I was trying to get a hold of walks by with her dog. Still in my robe, soapy and wet we track her down and I explain my need. Of course her kids were home sick, so she wasn't going to school. Great!

My friend, hearing the predicament, sweetly offers to pick them up. Getting a little desperate here I gratefully accepted and welcomed her in to my disarrayed home. I went and finished showering, got dressed, and came downstairs to her sweeping my floor. My very confused mother-in-law had arrived and by now I should have left 5 minutes ago.

So much for taking it easy today!

After get things settled I was off to the doctors. You would thing the story would stop here? Sorry. There's more.

I finally make it and wait patiently for the doctor that I had already had very unpleasant experiences with (there was no other one available for the day) with a very nice paper sheet hiding my large girth over my legs.

You know, sometimes I think doctor's think of every way possible to make a large pregnant woman be as uncomfortable for a long period of time to make them as humble as possible when they come into the room. You try sitting half-naked, trying to keep modest with your legs uncomfortably dangling while trying to support your lower back for 20 minutes while waiting for the doctor that you know you already don't like! FUN!!

Anyway, he finally comes in, asks a little bit of history he measures my stomach and the like and asks out of the blue, "Are you depressed?" Uh, no are you? I wanted to reply anyway. He just kept saying, well, you do have a lot of kids. So, is that supposed to automatically set me up for depression?

So then, with a confused look on his face asks, "Are we checking your cervix?" Ummm gee, let's see I have had some pretty major contractions these last few days and I am only 33 weeks pregnant. What do you think all-knowing doctor? Fortunately I was spared by the nurse coming in to "chaperone" the check.

After a quick check, he gets a little grin on his face and says, "You have a floppy cervix." Thanks? I decided to let that one slide and reaffirmed that I wasn't dilated. I wasn't! Good news! However, he kept saying that I had a floppy cervix. I finally had to ask what it was. Apparently, my cervix feels differently than one who's one their first baby. Because you know, I have a lot of kids.

After talking about the next plan of action, he typed up some instructions for me (he kept re-emphasizing lots of rest and fluids) and I was to be on my way. In the past he had commented on my weight gain when I thought I was doing pretty good! I was hoping we wouldn't say anything this time.... I thought I had skated by that one. Well at the bottom of the instructions, he got me again. It said "Exercise 4+ times a week 30 minutes per day. With lots of fluid and rest and taking care of five kids and a husband of course. Not to mention I WISHED I could be working out at the gym but was banished because every time I would work out I would start contractions. Oh well.

Bottom line, me and my floppy cervix are now trying to take it easy.